The Star-Nosed Dandlesneet
The Star-Nosed Dandlesneet likes to hide small hand-held objects such as keys, remotes, cell phones, lighters, pipes, etc., and is particularly active around people who smoke pot. Or who are under a lot of stress trying to do ten things at once. The Dandlesneets just love when you get behind and have to rush.
The Dandlesneet likes to do things like put the milk in the cabinet and the box of cereal in the refrigerator and leave bags and purses on the roofs of automobiles. Nothing makes a Star-Nosed Dandlesneet happier than the sound of a stressed-out guy on a cell phone backing his car over his own laptop. When such events multiply in a spiral of ever-increasing stress, the individual in question is said to be dandlesneeted, which was the Old Flemish word for totally fucked.
Dandlesneet can only mate during telephone calls with the cable company in which the same information is repeated at least seven times, preferably with shouting at the end.
The homes and workplaces of people desperately hoping to have just one day when they don’t have to deal with three or four things at once all day long.
More Improbable Creatures:
This trading card is part of a series titled “Uncle Joe’s Field Guide to Improbable Creatures” by Jethro Sleestak. View more Improbable Creatures.