The Ringtingled Tootlesnoot
The Ringtingled Tootlesnoot is the number one agricultural pest in all of Latvia but is strangely absent in Sweden, Finland, and the other Baltic republics.
Every summer, the gardens and fields of Latvia are overwhelmed with Tootlesnoot, reaching population densities in excess of several thousand per square meter, but these numbers drop to near zero as you approach the border.
Population densities are highest just outside the genetic engineering facility built by the Soviets in the 1970s about twelve miles south of Riga, but the Russians still insist that it is only coincidence.
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The Koonkled Feenkle-Toe
The ancient Persians believed that being trampled by the Koonkled Feenkle-Toe was a sign that the victim was favored by the gods.
Although the Persians’ sacred texts do not explicitly state why trampling was seen as a sign of favor, it is safe to assume that the reason was because the Koonkled Feenkle-Toe normally killed its victim with its over-sized stinger by repeatedly stabbing into the anus until the corpse was unrecognizable.
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Convicted Felon and Paid Russian Agent Calls for Martial Law to Overturn Democratic Election in Coup Attempt.
Don’t worry if they call you traitor. Only words of Moose and Squirrel.
DEMOCRATS MUST FACE THE FACTS OF MARINE BIOLOGY!
Meme: Randall Flagg Named Chief of Staff. “You are going to love this guy. The best you have ever seen.”
Meme: What Batshit Crazy Looks Like. “For the love of God, retire and stop making an ass of yourself.”
Meme: Trump Won’t Condemn Conspiracy Nuts and Racists Because He Knows Who His Supporters Are. Which Are You?
The Truth About Hunter Biden’s Laptop Revealed: There Are Jackasses Too Stupid To See That It Is Russian Disinformation.