Intergalactic Atomic Laser Football Champ

“He scored the most goals and the hottest babes using his genetically-modified psychoteletronic genitals…paid for by SHEELAH of the space mob!”

Critics agree:

The climax where Sheelah screams at the doomed protagonist “Jazzmo Azzmo, I own your dick!” is the most dramatic scene of all Sci-Fi Pulp novels of the 1950’s, possibly of all western literature, including the Bible and serious shit like that.

Bob, New York Times

The book was ahead of its time and makes a bold statement: Always have the admin password for your junk written down somewhere!

Continue reading “Intergalactic Atomic Laser Football Champ”

Crucilinga, Warrior Queen

She commanded the tongues of ten thousand warriors, but none could satisfy her.

My favorite historical figure of all time. Her innovations in leadership and bondage imagery were admired by many great closet freaks such as George Washington, Mahatma Ghandi, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Bob, New York Times
Continue reading “Crucilinga, Warrior Queen”

I Hate My Straight Brother

book 7 of Drama School Boys

“Why won’t he cosplay with us?”

New In Young Adult

Reginald is upset. His straight twin brother Deginald never has time for him anymore. And Deginald NEVER comes to the theater and just hang out with the guys because he’s always with his girlfriend. Worst of all, he says he can’t come to Felando’s party, the cosplay night of the year!

But Reginald soon learns that his straight brother is a hell of a lot cooler than the asshole brothers of some of his friends when they crash Felando’s party extremely drunk.

The uninvited brothers start fighting as soon as they arrive, sending two guests to the hospital via ambulance. When the parents get involved, things get even worse.

Deginald proves once again that he is the best brother Reginald could ever have.

[The funniest (odd) thing about this one for me is how the story line instantly appeared in my head when I saw the image, and how the story was more real story than satire.]

Continue reading “I Hate My Straight Brother”

Masturbation Brothers

The Tragic Tale of the World’s Most Unfortunate Conjoined Twins

Words cannot express the horror, and that is why the book is mostly fingerpainted scenes and curse words. Chilling.

Bob, New York Times

The original publisher wanted to do a children’s pop-up book version with scratch-n-sniff patches.

Thanks to some hasty court orders followed by strict legislation, that version of the book was blocked, and so the publisher replaced it with the version we all remember from school.

Continue reading “Masturbation Brothers”