Jethro Sleestak Comix

Dufus Rockin Out

Dufus Duh Unikorn is rockin out.

Bugly Bear Perplexed

Bugly Bear is perplexed.

Is Ted Cruz the Antichrist or just the creepiest politician ever shat by Satan? Could the man be any less sincere?

Why does a man with a Cuban father and a Princeton education sound like a deep-fried televangelist every time he speaks? How much time and effort did he spend trying to sound like that?

Could Ted Cruz’s voice sound any more phony if instead of doing the televangelist shtick, he went around doing a bad impersonation of an Italian accent?

Da solution to alla da problems is to shova da religion into da politics ever chance-a we-a getta. I wisha dat alla da peoples in da USA wassa as-a dumma as-a da religious dumbassas inna Texasa. Denna I coulda be-a da Presidenta.

Nutbird

You can’t fix the economy until you do something about these gays and lesbians. They won’t even let you go to the store these days without making you say you love ’em.

The legislature tried to fix it, but the governor vetoed it because the supreme court was going to make them be gay in the schools if he didn’t.

Mean Maggot

Mean Maggot says that he is voting Dunfrump for President all the way:

It’s gonna be Dunfrump in November. Fuck these Liberals and Muslims and shit. Tell the fucking world how it’s going to be, and that’s it.

Make them pay for it too. He’s going to make the country great again. Do it like a corporation and all. Big and bad to the bone and none of this EPA global warming shit. Screw the dumbasses and whiners. Like they know what the fuck they’re talking about.

Madam Froganella

Madame Froganella demonstrates the appropriate way to apologize for flatulence when an animal or small child is not conveniently nearby.

You know the frog that got kissed and turned back into a prince? Madame Froganella used to date him. She was his for-now chick. That’s how she got all sophisticated. Before she met the prince, she went by “Tammy.”

Back then, all she did was rewatch her favorite seasons of The Batchelor and bitch about her job at the mall.

Stanky Catfish

Stanky Catfish has a fur ball. He coughs and coughs but can’t get it up. It’s because he’s shedding. I brush him three or four times a week, but my sofa and love seat are covered in fur. If only he would stay in the aquarium.

Godawful Goat

Godawful Goat says to pay attention and learn something. He says he can’t teach you everything. (He’s a little full of himself.)

Godawful wrote a poem called Dunfrump’s Wall

Dunfrump’s Wall

 

Dunfrump has dreams

of Guilded-Age schemes.

A bypassable wall.

might not protect us at all,

but thinka the pork barrel, boys.

 

Dunfrump

A man worth less than what he inherited is running for president based on his accomplishments as a businessman.

His accomplishments are multiple bankruptcies and a string of failed businesses, but on his reality television shows, he was the big successful businessman, and so that is what the idiots believe him to be.

This man does not think before he speaks because he has never really had to. He is a vulgar boastful man. He sells ignorance and bigotry and fear.

 

 

 

Bugly Bear Panics

BWAHHHHH! Bugly Bear has a panic attack every time the idiot speaks on television.

Dufus Duh Unikorn

Hi boys and girls! I’m Dufus duh Unikorn. I got jelly beans up my butt.