Eduardo the Fruit Bat Animated GIF

Eduardo the Fruit Bat

Eduardo the Fruit Bat is an expert on rotten bananers. He says don’t eat the ones with the moldy peelings. He says save them for him. And any juicy bugs you find.

He says if you save him the good stuff, he promises to take a power shit in Donald Trump’s hair. And not just any shit. He promises a good high-fiber shit just like the ones he likes to do on Tucker Carlson.

That good old Eduardo. He’s the best fruit bat ever.

The Jippled Blundersnerf Animated GIF

The Jippled Blundersnerf

The following wisdom was recorded while Reverend Bobby Lee Jones of El Dorado, Arkansas was under the effects of the Jippled Blundersnerf:

When George Warshington and Jesus started America back in the olden times, they outlawed all the Liberals and the Communists and the global warming, but then the Democrats let it all come back in, and now they have it in the kid’s textbooks just like the evolution and all that nonsense.

Nowadays you don’t even have to talk American down at the Walmarts. I tell you what. Jesus is going to smite the fuck out of this country, and I can’t wait.

Burping Doofus Animated GIF

Burping Doofus

The miracle of beer is that it enables you to belch directly into someone’s face and not care even though you are desperately trying to pick them up and would otherwise be too nervous to try.

The problem with beer is that you keep drinking them and burping directly in the desirable person’s face and talking too loud and acting like a jackass. Continue reading “Burping Doofus Animated GIF”