Eduardo the Fruit Bat
Eduardo the Fruit Bat is an expert on rotten bananers. He says don’t eat the ones with the moldy peelings. He says save them for him. And any juicy bugs you find.
He says if you save him the good stuff, he promises to take a power shit in Donald Trump’s hair. And not just any shit. He promises a good high-fiber shit just like the ones he likes to do on Tucker Carlson.
That good old Eduardo. He’s the best fruit bat ever.
Donald Trump is a racist bully and a blowhard salesman that talks out of his ass. He is every ugly thing that people around the world have ever thought about Americans.
Donald Trump, Buffoon In Chief, with a head full of crazy.
Flush This Turd
Donald Trump’s only talent is saying what stupid people want to hear.
Stanky Ole Buzzard
Cleeron is a Stanky Ole Buzzard. Cleeron ain’t stupid like you. He knows them scientists is full of shit and all about the Jews and the Liberal Media and the Clintons. That’s why Cleeron watches Fox News. He would swallow a turd if they told him to.
The Jippled Blundersnerf
The following wisdom was recorded while Reverend Bobby Lee Jones of El Dorado, Arkansas was under the effects of the Jippled Blundersnerf:
When George Warshington and Jesus started America back in the olden times, they outlawed all the Liberals and the Communists and the global warming, but then the Democrats let it all come back in, and now they have it in the kid’s textbooks just like the evolution and all that nonsense.
Nowadays you don’t even have to talk American down at the Walmarts. I tell you what. Jesus is going to smite the fuck out of this country, and I can’t wait.
The miracle of beer is that it enables you to belch directly into someone’s face and not care even though you are desperately trying to pick them up and would otherwise be too nervous to try.
The problem with beer is that you keep drinking them and burping directly in the desirable person’s face and talking too loud and acting like a jackass. Continue reading “Burping Doofus Animated GIF”
Meemaw Puckerbutt’s Jalapeño-Prune Salsa
“I wanted folks to be calling Jesus’s name and really mean it. That’s why I created something that turns your anus into a volcano of flaming hot diarrhea. Get right with the Lord, America!”
-Sharlene “Meemaw” Puckerbutt
The Boogie Man
The Boogie Man says it only costs ten cents. He’ll send you his address. It’s down south where the river runs slow.
Fuck You GIF
What is it about work meetings that make them shear fucking torture? Is it because people repeat the same shit over and over? Is it because dumb people like to talk the most?