Reverend Jethro Ministries

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Love Offerings!

You, yes YOU can personally assist Reverend Jethro in his ministry by making a love offering of cash money.

All donations will be spent on stuff. People donating their entire life savings are greatly appreciated. Make all checks payable to my boss Joe.

Act Now!

Reverend Jethro Ministries has just cut the cost of eternal salvation in half by eliminating the middle man.

And it is all available using our easy-to-download app:

Eternal Salvation (basic edition)

Billed to your credit card in three easy monthly installments of $19.95

Limited Time Offer!

By special agreement between Satan and The Home Shopping Channel, we are proud to make this limited time offer of

Donald Trump’s Immortal Soul

Sold as shares of common stock complete with certificates suitable for framing, wiping your butt, etc.

Jethro’s Gift of Prophecy

After decades of intensive study and prayer, Reverend Jethro is finally able to reveal the hidden meaning of The Book of Revelations:

  • Satan keeps Donald Trump’s immortal soul in an old pickle jar full of farts.
  • Donald Trump will probably be reincarnated as a turd.