Bloaty The Maggot
Bloaty The Maggot cartoon has his own theme song, which is sung to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman.”
The song is what the bad kids sing in that terrible Stephen King book Mark of Cain, the one about the grotesquely malformed boy in a wheelchair with alcoholic parents living in a trailer park.
These older kids from the trailer park push the deformed boy’s wheelchair to the dump at the end of the street and burn him with chemicals they find there in old rusty paint cans.
Or try to. The hand of the Lord stops the bullies through a series of improbable coincidences and freak accidents that cause a group of six younger children to bond together and rescue Bloaty from the older bad kids. These six younger children have marked lives and spiritual ordeals as a result of the divine intervention.
Stephen King’s book is set in the 1970s, at least the part where the six kids are still kids, and so the put-downs in the song are of the classic yo-momma variety.
This is what the big kids sing in Stephen King’s book. Actually, the kids don’t sing this whole song, but King prefaces the text of the book with these lyrics:
Bloaty the Maggot was a big fat squirming worm
With two bulging eyes and an ingrown nose
That smells like your butt hole.
Bloaty the Maggot is a piece of shit, they say
He was found in a dump
By these kids shooting rats to have some fun one day.
There must have been some toxins in
That old tin vat they found
For when they dumped it on his head,
He began to squirm around.
Bloaty the Maggot writhed in shear agony
And the goddamn kids say they could laugh all day
Just to watch him try to flee.
Bloaty the Maggot knew he must get the fuck away
So he said, Fuck off you kids; this isn’t going down today.
Up to your mom’s house with his cock in his hand,
Moving up and down and all around,
Saying suck me if you can.
He chased them down to the very next town
Right to the dildo shop.
And he only spent a dollar
When he made your momma hop.
Bloaty the Maggot
Heard a furry fetish say,
Eat my Elmo’s pie and don’t ask why,
I’ll do your mom again one day.