Author: Jethro Sleestak

An Old Testament Smiting for Trump?

Who says the days of Old Testament style miracles are over? I can think of a couple of contemporary examples off the top of my head.

The US invades Iraq, a country in the heart of the Middle East, on false pretenses, when it already has more than it can maintain in Afganistan or expect to be able to walk away from anytime soon.

The Lord responds to that great act of dumbassery and has an African-American sharing the same Muslim name as the deposed Iraqi dictator elected President of the United States. Coincidence is the hand of God at work, or at least that is what I learned as a boy. Continue reading “An Old Testament Smiting for Trump?”

The Duck-Billed Snurk Trading Card

The Duck-Billed Snurk

The Duck-Billed Snurk is slimy like a slug yet lightning fast like a snake. The Snurk’s venom is only mildly toxic, but instead of having two fangs, the creature has a mouth full of needle-like teeth, and it isn’t shy about using them if you try to grab it. Luckily, the creature doesn’t get much bigger than a chipmunk.

Snurks were previously unknown until construction of a new dunking stool complex for the Bible Heritage America amusement park in Ainis, Texas exposed the underground chambers in which these odd creatures had dwelt undisturbed for millenia. Continue reading “The Duck-Billed Snurk Trading Card”

The Daisy-Tailed Moople Trading Card

The Daisy-Tailed Moople

The Daisy-Tailed Moople hides in flower beds and sneaks up on people sunbathing in public parks. It rapidly licks the insides of the victim’s noses. Or ears. Or eyes. Or mouth. Or all of the above in a frantic rush back and forth before the victim can sit up and yell what the fuck. Continue reading “The Daisy-Tailed Moople Trading Card”

Angwee Buttsecks Break The Govments

Angwee Buttsecks break the govments. He let the corprashons do bad stuff and not pay. He likes the bad guys in Russia. He lets mean peepil break the rules and hurt poor peepil.

[The Angwee Buttsecks series of animations should be narrated in something like Lily Tomlin’s Edith Ann little girl voice or maybe Tweety Bird’s voice.]

Angwee Buttsecks Beated Up Santa Animated GIF

Angwee Buttsecks beated up Santa Claus. He a bad edafant, that Angwee Buttsecks. He do bad stuff. He make mommy yell angwee buttsecks words at the TV.

[The Angwee Buttsecks series of animations should be narrated in something like Lily Tomlin’s Edith Ann little girl voice or maybe Tweety Bird’s voice.]