Bloaty The Maggot Animated GIF

Bloaty The Maggot

Bloaty The Maggot cartoon has his own theme song, which is sung to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman.”

The song is what the bad kids sing in that terrible Stephen King book Mark of Cain, the one about the grotesquely malformed boy in a wheelchair with alcoholic parents living in a trailer park. Continue reading “Bloaty The Maggot Animated GIF”

Dufus Duh Unikorn in Color Animated GIF

Dufus Duh Unikorn in Color

Do you know why Dufus duh Unikorn is celebrating? Because he’s been colorized. He’s also practicing his dance moves to some 1970s disco. They’re getting ready for Erika’s birthday party. They’re all drinking wine and dancing while Erika finishes her makeup, but then they’re going out –first to The Dance Hole and then to Blonjaloon for late night. Maybe we will see some Bronies. I wish Erika would hurry!

Bugly Bear Perplexed Animated GIF

Bugly Bear Perplexed

Bugly Bear is perplexed.

Is Ted Cruz the Antichrist or just the creepiest politician ever shat by Satan? Could the man be any less sincere?

Why does a man with a Cuban father and a Princeton education sound like a deep-fried televangelist every time he speaks? How much time and effort did he spend trying to sound like that?

Could Ted Cruz’s voice sound any more phony if instead of doing the televangelist shtick, he went around doing a bad impersonation of an Italian accent?

Da solution to alla da problems is to shova da religion into da politics ever chance-a we-a getta. I wisha dat alla da peoples in da USA wassa as-a dumma as-a da religious dumbassas inna Texasa. Denna I coulda be-a da Presidenta.

Nutbird Animated GIF

Nutbird

You can’t fix the economy until you do something about these gays and lesbians. They won’t even let you go to the store these days without making you say you love ’em.

The legislature tried to fix it, but the governor vetoed it because the supreme court was going to make them be gay in the schools if he didn’t.

Mean Maggot Animated GIF

Mean Maggot

Mean Maggot says that he is voting Dunfrump for President all the way:

It’s gonna be Dunfrump in November. Fuck these Liberals and Muslims and shit. Tell the fucking world how it’s going to be, and that’s it.

Make them pay for it too. He’s going to make the country great again. Do it like a corporation and all. Big and bad to the bone and none of this EPA global warming shit. Screw the dumbasses and whiners. Like they know what the fuck they’re talking about.

Madam Froganella Animated GIF

Madam Froganella

Madame Froganella demonstrates the appropriate way to apologize for flatulence when an animal or small child is not conveniently nearby.

You know the frog that got kissed and turned back into a prince? Madame Froganella used to date him. She was his for-now chick. That’s how she got all sophisticated. Before she met the prince, she went by “Tammy.”

Back then, all she did was rewatch her favorite seasons of The Batchelor and bitch about her job at the mall.

Godawful Goat Animated GIF

Godawful Goat

Godawful Goat says to pay attention and learn something. He says he can’t teach you everything. (He’s a little full of himself.)

Godawful wrote a poem called Dunfrump’s Wall

Dunfrump’s Wall

 

Dunfrump has dreams

of Guilded-Age schemes.

A bypassable wall.

might not protect us at all,

but thinka the pork barrel, boys.