The Mump-Mouthed Gundersludge Trading Card

The Mump-Mouthed Gundersludge

The Mump-Mouthed Gundersludge is the true source of all Vaporwave music and not the down-pitched samples of 1980s pop as claimed by hipsters. Genetic engineering can only do so much, and so the creators of the Gundersludge recommend feeding the creature exclusively on molasses, tar, and carpet adhesive so that its voice has the hallucinogenic melting sound that defines Vaporwave vocals.

The Gundersludge was created using genetic material from parakeets, the dodo bird, and various uber hipsters. That is why Gundersludge insists on making pretentious statements about the counter-cultural significance of its music. Continue reading “The Mump-Mouthed Gundersludge Trading Card”