Month: January 2021

The Ringtingled Tootlesnoot

The Ringtingled Tootlesnoot is the number one agricultural pest in all of Latvia but is strangely absent in Sweden, Finland, and the other Baltic republics.

Every summer, the gardens and fields of Latvia are overwhelmed with Tootlesnoot, reaching population densities in excess of several thousand per square meter, but these numbers drop to near zero as you approach the border.

Population densities are highest just outside the genetic engineering facility built by the Soviets in the 1970s about twelve miles south of Riga, but the Russians still insist that it is only coincidence.

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The Koonkled Feenkle-Toe

The ancient Persians believed that being trampled by the Koonkled Feenkle-Toe was a sign that the victim was favored by the gods.

Although the Persians’ sacred texts do not explicitly state why trampling was seen as a sign of favor, it is safe to assume that the reason was mercy.

The Koonkled Feenkle-Toe normally killed its victim with its over-sized stinger by repeatedly stabbing it in the ass until the corpse was unrecognizable.

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