Everything You Ever Needed To Know About Equality and Progress

Everything you ever needed to know about equality and progress can be learned from Millennials:

  • Anyone who disagrees with you is only being racist or sexist.
  • Seek to explain every daily conflict in those terms.
  • Win arguments no matter how flimsy the connection by appealing to your listener’s fear of being branded a racist or sexist for not agreeing with you.
  • Always brand dissenters as racist or sexist. There is only one correct way of thinking about any issue, no matter how complex.
  • Race or gender is always the most important factor in determining who was the aggressor and who was the victim in any particular conflict.
  • People never behave differently from gender or racial stereotypes. White people are greedy and mean. Black people are lazy and stupid. Men are always the aggressor and never the victim. Thankfully, most of that has been replaced by the simple principle that a member of an oppressed minority is always right in any argument once that oppressed status has been invoked.
  • The most important aspect of your identity is your status as a victim.
  • No matter how irresponsible or inconsiderate you are or what problems you create, it’s not your fault.
  • Being an asshole is a highly effective way of campaigning for social justice and progress.
  • Sociopaths are always white males. Or black males. Or homosexuals. Or whatever group of people you were taught to hate or have had bad experiences with.
  • All the brown peoples of the world never knew violence or oppression before white European colonialists. All those thousands of years of empire and conflict in the archaeological record never happened. People didn’t have genocidal wars before white Europeans overwhelmed them. Of course they had teleportation and all kinds of advanced mental shit, but they didn’t have wars and violence and oppression.
  • If it weren’t for white people, we would live in an enlightened state of grace. Or black people. Or some group of people.