Everything You Ever Needed To Know About Equality and Progress

Everything you ever needed to know about equality and progress can be learned from Millennials:

  • Anyone who disagrees with you is only being racist or sexist.
  • Seek to explain every daily conflict in those terms.
  • Win arguments no matter how flimsy the connection by appealing to your listener’s fear of being branded a racist or sexist for not agreeing with you.
  • Always brand dissenters as racist or sexist. There is only one correct way of thinking about any issue, no matter how complex.
  • Race or gender is always the most important factor in determining who was the aggressor and who was the victim in any particular conflict.
  • People never behave differently from gender or racial stereotypes. White people are greedy and mean. Black people are lazy and stupid. Men are always the aggressor and never the victim. Thankfully, most of that has been replaced by the simple principle that a member of an oppressed minority is always right in any argument once that oppressed status has been invoked.
  • The most important aspect of your identity is your status as a victim.
  • No matter how irresponsible or inconsiderate you are or what problems you create, it’s not your fault.
  • Being an asshole is a highly effective way of campaigning for social justice and progress.
  • Sociopaths are always white males. Or black males. Or homosexuals. Or whatever group of people you were taught to hate or have had bad experiences with.
  • All the brown peoples of the world never knew violence or oppression before white European colonialists. All those thousands of years of empire and conflict in the archaeological record never happened. People didn’t have genocidal wars before white Europeans overwhelmed them. Of course they had teleportation and all kinds of advanced mental shit, but they didn’t have wars and violence and oppression.
  • If it weren’t for white people, we would live in an enlightened state of grace. Or black people. Or some group of people.

Why Mansplaining Is A Great Term

Mansplaining is a great term to use because:

  • no woman is ever overbearing or condescending or domineering in her speech, especially toward her spouse.
  • our speech should always include some word that belittles a gender, race, or identity.
  • the word gives great insight into how people who describe themselves as open-minded and progressive actually are.
  • it is used by those who automatically expect agreement and sympathy when they say a word offends them, and so by using it yourself, you automatically gain the right to scream at people how much the word offends you.
  • no true progress can be made in gender equality if we fail to adhere to the tried-and-true practice of sexual stereotypes.

Uncle Joe’s Curse On The Heads Of American Youth

Currently there is something in particular that you really dislike about how people are talking in youth-sploitation movies or Youtube gaming channels or reality television or somewhere else in commercial media with a lot of hype and marketing going on.

Maybe it’s diction, maybe it’s intonation of some type, maybe both, maybe something else. Whatever it is, it is something you find annoying in itself but also annoying because it is frequently imitated by people who spend most of their free time watching trash media of some type. Continue reading “Uncle Joe’s Curse On The Heads Of American Youth”

MegaPro World Wrestling Extreme

The latest episode of MegaPro World Wrestling Extreme was on the big flat screen.

It was the opposing managers out on the ring talking shit before the match. Daddy Big Bucks was dressed his usual way with black suit and top hat like the Monopoly Man, and he was shaking his fist at his arch enemy, Ms Luv2Hate. Continue reading “MegaPro World Wrestling Extreme”

Recipe for The Most Evil Politician Ever

If you had a chance to vote against 1930’s style fascism, and you didn’t, then anything you say to try to justify your decision only makes you look dumber.

Recipe for The Most Evil Politician Ever

  • Start with the sins and business dealings of the average Republican politician or corporate backer.
  • Add 20+ years of politically-motivated investigations over everything from spouse’s affair to how they send emails.
  • Add 20+ years of political smear by Fox News and talk news radio.
  • Add their own inevitable inclination to keep things secret given the above.
  • Add their progressive stance on gay rights and other social issues that the good Christians love to hate.
  • Add a voice and demeanor that is naturally abrasive.

Continue reading “Recipe for The Most Evil Politician Ever”